it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
