my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
