Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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