Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
love makes seman taste better
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
