therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
