There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
