Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
