I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
