How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
