Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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