I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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