Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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