What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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