I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
