the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
