you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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