What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
