ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
