She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
