so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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