we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
