Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
