Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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