My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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