I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
