how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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