I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
