Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
