By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
