Dual....:-)
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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