i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
