Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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