Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
