Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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