You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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