Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
