Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
