before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
