dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
