i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
