I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
