pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
