It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
