Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
FUCK WHALES
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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