yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
