he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
there was a trapeze. enough said
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
third nipple confirmed
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
