The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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