You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i've created a new STD.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
