Rock
Scissors
Fuck
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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