Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
