it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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